


I’m Blue Will

by Stranger_Fairytales



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreamon, Family Bonding, Flashbacks, Have some blue, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Manipulation, Psychological Trauma, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Tommy’s mom is oc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stranger_Fairytales/pseuds/Stranger_Fairytales
Summary: A lot could happen in 24 hours.A brother could return home from gathering supplies.A president could stumble upon the ruins of a campsite, journey home in anguish , and tell the remaining family of the loss of a brother.A father could learn how a heart can break more than once as he journeys out to piece together the fragments.A ghost could learn that not everyone who is blue shows it.—“I’ve become blue Will.”| Updates Tuesday and Saturday (or at least tries to. Lol |
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 23
Kudos: 211





	1. Everything is Blue

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I’m angsty. I know it’s not good, it’s probably not even close to being grammatically correct either. I just didn’t want it sitting in the note section of my phone any longer.

Phil beat his hand against the desk in frustration as he crumbled up yet another draft of his apology. 

“This isn’t working!”

_Sorry I killed you. <3_

_-Love Phil_

Stared back at him on the paper. He growled and crumpled it up again.   
“No more starting with sorries, write from the heart.” He kept mumbling to himself. He picked up his quill, dipped it into his ink pot, and became lost in writing...

  
I’m Blue Will

by Philza Watson

Page 1 of 5

To Will,

Should this book ever find you, I’m sorry. I know you don’t like it when we get serious, but these are words I need you to hear. These are words of a guilt ridden old man who made the greatest mistake. 

My mistake?

I let you rot away in your mind and pull children into a war they would never truly win. You had already stacked the cards before they had the chance to deal their hand. 

I’m want you to know I’m not writing this to blame you. I’m the one to blame. I ran you through with your own sword, for what? To play hero? To get rid of the ‘evil’ that had plagued L’manberg? Fix a symphony who’s notes got lost through multiple transpositions? I killed you as if it would make the problem disappear. You’re not a problem Will, you’re my son! For God’s sake, I held you in my arms until your heart puttered to a stop! Your words of encouragement and prayers of thanks falling deaf on my ears as I took in the horror of what I’d done. Your brown eyes, my son’s beautiful browns, glazed over in the dim confused light of the control room. I lowered you to the ground sweeping away any rubble that would disturb your slumber, as if you’d wake up from this. As if I hadn’t been too overwhelmed by the aftermath that I thought probable killing my own son was a solution. I placed a kiss on your head and fixed that stupid beanie you always wear because you insist it hides your ‘balding’. You liked to wear it a lot with that yellow sweater.

I removed your sword from your chest. The sword I used to kill my son, the sword I would use to stop my son’s from falling further from greatness, the sword coated red with your blood. Withers rage on as I flew towards the combat. Heavy is the heart I’d split in two. Then soon the Withers were destroyed taking what little remains of L’manberg with them. Techno fled the scene before I could get in a word with him.

_Have I failed him like I failed you Will?_

_I’m blue Will._

Page 2 of 5

Dear Will,

The sun rises on a new day in L’manberg. Your boy throws his hat in the air and cheers as Tubbo proudly gives a speech about the freedom of their new nation. A speech I wish you were there to hear. I bandaged wounds after the fallout. There were children fighting a war for independence. They were just kids.

_Tommy._

I had held him for hours Will. He wouldn’t believe you were gone, that his big brother, his _hero,_ would go down with the country he had fought so hard to build. He kept telling me how he thought you’d come around and change your mind, give up the ‘villain’ act. Instead he watched on in anxiety for the man who lost sight of his morals for the mission of independence or death. I wish he was mad at me. I want Tommy to scream at me Will. I took you from him! I took my son from this world with well trained hands, and a swift blow! Come back home please. I need you to come back home. 

_I’m blue Will._

  
Page 3 of 5

Dear Will,

I followed Techno through the snow and we settle our disputes. He tells me he’s going to keep his hair long like you always liked it. Not that you remember that anymore. We’re not welcome in L’manberg anymore and I hear Tommy is not either. Please watch over him Will. I can’t get away from my work at the moment. I can’t stop thinking about what I did. Maybe if I work hard enough on the farms for Techno then it will become a distant memory.

_I’m blue Will._

  
Page 4 of 5

Dear Will,

I haven’t heard from Tommy in weeks. Have you been with him? I heard there was a beach party, but I never received an invitation? Was the party nice? I’m headed to L’manberg on errands for Techno. I worry a lot. Should I be worried?  
  


_I’m turning blue Will._

  
Page 5 of 5

Will please,

It isn’t true. It isn’t true. Will tell me it isn’t true! I stopped the Butcher Army from going to murder Techno and L’manberg placed me on house arrest for helping a fugitive of the law. I spent days alone not being allowed to craft anything new. I was stuck with nothing but my thoughts. 

_Then there came a knock at my door. I opened it._

There’s the president, he slams into my chest bawling. I hold him close and try to soothe him.

He catches his breath then whispers in a hollow tone “ ** _Tommy fell from a high place._** ”

_I didn’t believe him._

I told him “that’s not my Tommy. My Tommy is loud, a party, and makes death fear him.” There was no way, not my son, your brother couldn’t have.

He shakes his head sniffing and takes me out of house arrest, perhaps it was pity or revenge. I could save one son but not the other. We travel by Nether portal and the first thing I see on the other side is _craters_. Craters left and right. The few remaining logs of your campsite mere splinters sticking out of the ground.

_I’m overwhelmed._

I don’t think to look up. I don’t want to look up. **And yet,** ** _I look up_.**

There’s a tower so tall and not made of cobble like how my boy makes his towers. _No_. It’s scraps and pieces of whatever was left: splintered logs, blocks of wool, dirt, anything and everything to tower to the sky despite how rickety and unstable it may be.  
  
If I close my eyes I can almost see him.

Above the clouds looking at how small the world around him is. Hopefully seeing the sunset from a birds eye view, just like how he used to beg me to take him flying when you were all tots.

But when I open my eyes there is no warm sunlight. There’s no glowing painting in the sky that my boy would spend hours waiting for.

No.

It’s a cold night and the mobs are coming and falling into the craters and inhibiting the pitiful plot of land my son spent exiled in. The tower stands tall and defiant mocking me.   
  


I failed him. **_I killed him like I killed you Will._**

He was just a kid! I was too late. _I’m always too late_. I made the same mistake again. Don’t let him forget Will. Make him happy. He doesn’t need to be blue. Don’t let him be blue.

**_I’ve become blue Will._ **

—

Phil finished signing the book and with a heavy sigh placed it in one of the many chests in his house. Drying the tears that welled up in his eyes.

_A knock at the door_

It was Will or Ghostbur as he preferred to be called these days. Phil tried to maintain his appearance, he wouldn’t be able to handle the news if he found out. They make quick conversation before he makes his way to Techno’s home to hold his son in a tight hug and grieve once again. Philza was completely unaware of the boy hiding under the house in sickly condition. 


	2. Dare I Remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghostbur is organizing Phil’s chests when he finds a book addressed to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. I’m kinda pissed because I had this chapter half written, I put in in drafts, BUT IT NEVER SAVED! Anyways we'll see if I can recreate it.

Ghostbur could lie and say he enjoyed his visits to Tommy in Logstedshire, but that wasn’t right. There was something painfully familiar in Tommy’s haunted eyes or how he’d carry his weight close to himself as if he’d be hit at any moment.   
  
Ghostbur didn’t like remembering. So he tried to space his visits to Tommy to avoid the headaches and the sharp pain in his chest he couldn’t explain. He felt particularly rough after the last visit when he arrived just as Dream was disposing of Tommy’s armor. The sound of tnt, a distant tune in his head, flashes of craters, a ravine, all are things he dare not remember.

  
However, his visits were one of the few things that brought Tommy joy other than the compass he gifted him, which he’d gaze longingly at when the conversation had gone still. 

_Tommy was blue._

That much was obvious. He didn’t laugh at Ghostbur’s jokes like he used to, didn’t take as much pride in his pet cow, didn’t boast about how many women he could get. Tommy was blue. Only Ghostbur wasn’t sure how much blue he could give Tommy to try and fix him.   
—

The time Ghostbur would spend in L’manberg he’d smile, ask other’s about their day, and hand out blue to those in need. It was easy that way. It was what was safest for him. Keeping his little library in his sewer and trying to repent what Wilbur had done to the lovely people of L’manberg.

Just the other day he ran into Ranboo, one of the few people who didn’t look at him with shifty distrustful eyes. Ranboo didn’t know Wilbur, to him he was just Ghostbur.   
This time however, he saw Ranboo was sad, so he handed him a stack of blue.

”Oh-uh. Thanks Wilbur.”   
Ghostbur pulled together his best smile despite his annoyance of being referred to as that wicked man and made his way to Phil’s.   
He wrapped his knuckles on the wooden door twice.

”Just a moment.”

He heard sounds of shuffling and closing of chests.The door creaked open and in his signature green and black robes stood Phil, his eyes slightly puffier than normal, quite flushed.  
“Hi Phil, I was in the area and was wondering if you had any work for me? I know you’re always busy with those projects of yours.”

Phil straightened his posture before opening the door to let Ghostbur inside. “Yeah. I’m actually going to run an errand to Techno’s, but if you could organize my chests for me that would be great.” He looked troubled for a moment as if he’d say more, but he remained quiet.

”Of course Phil! Tell Techno I said hi.”

Phil gave him a solemn nod before unfurling his powerful gray wings and taking off. Ghostbur retreated back inside and took note of the many chests. Phil often went out adventuring late only to shove his gatherings in the first chest he saw when he returned home, this could take a while.   
  
It did.

  
It was nearly sunset when Ghostbur thought of retiring to his sewer, but there just one last chest he hadn’t gotten to. It was a smaller chest. Just one more couldn’t hurt? He quickly inspected the chest to notice it had a keyhole unlike the others. Maybe not open this one? He gave a small tug on the lid and it proved to be unlocked, popping open with a satisfying _click_. Ghostbur dug his hands in the chest but only found one item.

_A book._

It was probably one of Phil’s better enchanting books that he couldn’t store in his ender chest. He was still curious however, so he gently opened the nice leather cover..

**_I’m Blue Will_ **

**_by Philza Watson_**

This wasn’t for him was it? Phil would have told him if he wrote him a book, right? He read further..

Page 1 of 5

_To Will,_

_Should this book ever find you, I’m sorry. I know you don’t like it when we get serious, but these are words I need you to hear. These are words of a guilt ridden old man who made the greatest mistake.  
_

“Oh no.”

Ghostbur didn’t like serious things. Serious things lead to remembering to remembering, and remembering lead to that burning sensation in his chest, and then everything going red. Everything goes sickly red, ugly red vines clawing at his very being, taunting him, telling him horrible things he’d never want hear.   
Ghostbur pulled out a stack of blue to leech away the red that may plague him and bravely read on..

_I’m want you to know I’m not writing this to blame you. I’m the one to blame. I ran you through with your own sword, for_ _what? To play hero? To get rid of the ‘evil’ that had plagued L’manberg? Fix a symphony who’s notes got lost through multiple transpositions? For_ _God’s sake, I held you in my arms until your heart puttered to_ _a stop! Your words of encouragement and prayers of thanks falling deaf on my ears as I took in the horror of what I’d done. Your brown eyes,_ _my son’s beautiful browns, glazed over in the dim confused light of the control room._

Ghostbur felt the beginnings of the ache in his chest.

”Oh dad. You did the right thing. Wilbur was a wicked man from what I’ve heard”  
  


_Heavy is the heart I’d split in two. Then soon the Withers were destroyed, taking what little remains of L’manberg with them. Techno fled the scene before I could get in a word with him._

**_Have I failed him like I failed you Will?_ **

**_I’m blue Will._ **

As a ghost there is no need for air, no need for food, and no need for tears, but that doesn’t stop the trails down his pale gray skin. The weight in his chest sinks.

“Phil why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me something was wrong.” He mumbled letting the tears free fall.

Despite the ache and the tears he continues on reading only after lighting a candle and moving to the sofa.

_We’re not welcome in L’manberg anymore and I hear Tommy is not either. Please watch over him Will. I can’t get away from my work at the moment. I can’t stop thinking about what I did._

Silently he nods to himself. He’ll go see Tommy tomorrow. He’s been neglecting a visit, but for Phil he’ll do it. 

The book continues on, Phil asking about Tommy’s beach party and how he didn’t receive his invitation. That’s odd? Dream stopped him and said he would pass out the invites for him, something about “people would actually come to the party if the invitations weren’t passed out by a criminal.” Dream was funny like that.

There was only one page left and it looked like it had been scrawled up quickly, very unlike his father’s usual handwriting. Small wet spots on the paper almost like teardrops? The ink..it was barely dry... Had Phil just written this?

_Then there came a knock at my door. I opened it._

_There’s the president, he slams into my chest bawling. I hold him close and try to soothe him._

_He catches his breath then whispers in a hollow tone **“Tommy fell from a high place.”**_

_I didn’t believe him._

**No.** Tommy was fine. He had all that blue to help him, right? He couldn’t have could he? Ghostbur started to fumble with the ends of his sweater with bated breath as he read on..

_We travel by Nether portal and the first thing I see on the other side is_ ~~**_craters_**~~. _Craters left and right. The few remaining logs of your campsite mere splinters sticking out of the ground._

**_I’m overwhelmed._ **

_I don’t think to look up. I don’t want to look up._

Ghostbur gulps shaking his head violently “don’t look up! Don’t Phil! Don’t!” As if screaming to the walls would change the outcome of this story written in ink. He opens his eyes.

**And yet,** **_I look up_.**

_There’s a tower so tall and not made of cobble like how my boy makes his towers. ~~No~~. It’s scraps and pieces of whatever was left: splintered logs, blocks of wool, dirt, anything and everything to tower to the sky despite how rickety and unstable it may be._ **  
  
If I close my eyes I can almost see him.**

Ghostbur closes his as well. ~~_Flashes of tnt. The screaming of men and women alike._~~ His little brother standing precariously at the top of a tower, shaking, feeling so lost, so alone, ~~thinking it was never meant to be.~~ ~~Will wishes~~ -Ghostbur wishes to wrap his arms around him and never let go. Let nothing harm a hair on his brother’s head.

_I was too late. **I’m always too late.** I made the same mistake again. **Don’t let him forget Will.** Make him happy. He doesn’t need to be blue. **Don’t let him be blue.**_

**_I’ve become blue Will._ **

~~Ghostbur~~ -Will shakes his head. “I won’t let it come to that Phil.”

—

So despite the rain and the snow that may melt the man, Wilbur Soot makes his way to Techno's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! That felt therapeutic to write. I originally intended this all as a one shot but now I want to expand it and make more! :) I’ll try to have the next part out before Thursday. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Have a great day/night <3


	3. The Fall of Icarus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boy tries to cope with tremendous loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ATTEMPT
> 
> If you are not comfortable reading this chapter I completely understand.  
> Next chapter will be the end of this story. This chapter was just Tommy’s pov.

_Bap! Bap! Baap! Boom!_

The last piece of tnt detonated, destroying the campsite of Logstedshire. Dream adjusted his mask, gave Tommy a rough pat on the back, and went through the nether portal. The world went still for Tommy, his ears still ringing from the explosion.

He- he’s gone. Logstedshire. Everything I built, that Will built. All gone.

Tommy’s legs crumble beneath him as he looks over the remains of his ‘temporary’ home.

Was this really temporary? I’m never going home, am I?

A deep breath. Tommy closes his eyes trying to hold back the tears. Big men don’t cry.

~~_But you’re not a big man, are you Tommy?_ ~~

Tommy furiously shook his head. A sob escaped his throat. 

  
~~_No one came to visit you Tommy. They’ve forgotten all about you._ ~~

That’s not true there was Will-

~~_He abandoned you living and abandoned you dead_ ~~

Randboo visited me.

~~_He pities you._ ~~

Tubbo-

~~_Exiled you far away. Chose his nation over his best friend. Get it through that pea sized brain Tommy-_ ~~

_**THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU!** _

  
Oh.

Tommy made it to his feet and slid into the crater. There wasn’t much to salvage. Some old wool for new tents he never had to build, splintered logs, dirt, and stone, not much to start off with.

_  
~~Build up~~._

Tommy climbed out as the sun started setting, clutching his compass tightly to his chest as he heaved materials out onto the grass. If this was to work he’d need more. He fashioned the shittiest axe of splintered wood and stone. He held the handle and made his way into the small forest chopping with all his strength releasing his anger with every swing trying to ignore the splinters digging into his palms.

No one cares if I disappear. They didn’t come to my party. They didn’t visit. They’re better without me! No one came!

With the materials all gathered and the mobs beginning to come out from their hideouts, Tommy began to build. Tommy was shaking. Log after log, wool after wool, he placed it until all he had left was dirt. He was determined as he climbed to the sky, never once looking back until he was out of materials and could build no more.

Tommy stood atop the tower reaching just beyond the clouds. The world looked so small. The miles of sea that kept him from L’manberg now looked like a sad pond. There was no turning back now. He couldn’t climb down from this height, only the inevitable end that he had been waiting for for so long. So why did this feel so wrong? What happened to that hopelessness, the sensation of drowning in his own head? Why not jump? What’s keeping him here?

Tommy unfurled the objects he clutched so close to his rapidly beating heart. 

  
_Tubbo_.

The photo of them together at the beach.   
  
_The compass_.

The arrow still determined to point far across the sea to his Tubbo.

_What would Tubbo think when he realizes his compass stops working?_

~~_Why would he care? He burned his compass._ ~~

Tommy shook his head in denial, Tubbo would never do such a thing.

~~_But Dream said he did..._ ~~

_Then it must be true._

_—_

The night breeze chilled his skin. The holes in his clothes exposing the bruises from refusing to throw his armor in the pit when asked nicely by Dream. 

Everything would have been easier if he listened to Dream. If he could’ve listened to Tubbo in the first place he would be back in L’manberg right now, probably tucked warm in his bed.

  
~~_Instead you’re a disappointment on the edge of suicide._ ~~

That’s not true!

~~_Isn’t it though? You griefed Gogy’s house! You challenged Dream! You undermined Tubbo! This is all your fault!_~~

_**Jump you coward!** _

Surely Techno would miss-

~~_His whiny little brother who insults him? The one who took advantage of his strength to take back a government then cried traitor when he tore down said government? What would he miss?_ ~~

~~~~”Dad?” Tommy whispered to himself grasping at hope. If anyone would miss him surely it would be Philza, right? He’s his son. He would always love his son.

~~_His problem child? He’s old and stressed from trying to fix your mistakes from playing Vice President. Give him a break._ ~~

_**You ruin everything you touch!** _

Tommy sank to his knees, the tears at this altitude seemed to almost freeze on his cheeks.

**_Mum?_**

Can you see me from up there?

~~_Your selfish little boy._ ~~

I tried mum, but days feel so long and it seems so nice to just fly away from it all.

Remember the trident in the rain mum?

  
_I was almost there mum. I could almost feel your arms around me._

Did you see me?

_**Can you see me mum?** _

—

Contrary to popular belief when Icarus fell, he fell smiling. Icarus fell so far, so fast, with a smile baked on his face and Tommy intended to do the same.

With compass gripped tightly in hand, Tommy backed to the edge of the pillar and gave a salute to his campsite.

  
  


**_~~It was never meant to be.~~ _ **

As Tommy fell, his eyes remained on the twinkling stars above him, his heart pounding with anticipation of the impact. He could hear L’manberg now.

_“We told him it would never work out. How foolish to waste his last life.”_

Little did they know, oh those sorry fools.

Into the icy waves, he plunged. So ended the fall of Tommyinnit, the boy who played hero.   
  


_It was a shock, to be crushed by the cold water and be cradled by it simultaneously_.

He’d woke up nearly drowned for the past week, you’d think he could handle the pulsing sensations that wracked his skull as he found himself dancing on the edge of oblivion. Dancing with death.

He had gone deep into the water. He tasted salt. His skin burned from impact and the water’s freezing embrace. Yet he climbed out. Despite all odds, his need for air was far too strong. He pulled himself to the surface thrashing and kicking, anything to get to the surface.   
Tommy dragged himself onto the shoreline, his hair covering his eyes after weeks of not being cut.

  
Tommy had to live just to spite Dream. It had become his mission now.

He vaguely remembered the path he took to Techno’s house, he might house him, he might kill him, either way Tommy would be grateful.

He spotted a chest at the edge of the forest line. Scanning the area for mobs, he dragged feet over and opened the lid. In laid a pair of ratty leather boots which were still an upgrade considering Tommy lost his left shoe the other day, and a brown distressed looking coat. Tommy unfolded the jacket and spotted the small embroidered flag, the unmistakable flag of L’manberg.

_Will._

This was Will’s coat. He pulled on the sleeves and despite the coat being baggy, it stuck to his wet baseball tee like glue.

  
“Mum will you guide me?” He wished looking up at the stars. The stars seemed to glow brighter for him whether it was his imagination or not, Tommy took that sign as yes.

—  
  


The walk was a bitch.

Wilbur’s coat did little to protect him from the chill of the snowy biome Techno lived in. His clothes had frozen to his body and his hair stuck out wildly in every which way not that he minded, he just wanted to be warm again.

Skeletons rattled throughout the journey and Tommy did his best to stay out of their sight and travel as quietly as he could.

_Thwap!_

An arrow embedded into the tree just next to his head. He couldn’t tell which direction it came from, all he knew was to run. He ran despite his fatigue, despite the cold, and the howls of other mobs in the night. 

  
There was light in the valley just a light further off! Tommy felt adrenaline pumping as he broke through the tree line until he tripped on an exposed tree root. He fell face first down the hill.

“Ow God. At least I escaped the dickhead!” He cried out feeling the ache deep in his bones.

_Thwap!_

An arrow right to the leg.

“Piss off you dick.” Tommy groaned into the snow. He was almost there! He struggled to his feet, stumbling, trying to get his footing. Everything hurt and he just wanted to curl up and die. Why did he land in the stupid water? He could’ve been blissfully unaware and happy like Will-Ghostbur.

Almost having to crawl on all fours, Tommy made it inside the house. He rifled through the chests for any food. He found gapples, steak, carrots, and a loaf of bread that was probably a day away from being stale. Techno wouldn’t mind a loaf missing, or at least he wouldn’t be too mad. He munched slowly on the bread trying to not upset his stomach that hadn’t been fed in 2 days.

Tommy explored the house and made his way into what he assumed was a basement. It had no lighting and Tommy nearly fell down the ladder. He wandered aimlessly in the dark before stumbling into something.

_Moo._

Tommy shrieked stumbling back into the wall. He reached into his pocket to the flint and steel Dream made him carry for when he’d blow up his armor. He felt around to wall before lighting a torch. He pocketed the flint and steel and waved the torch in the direction of the noise.

  
_Henry?_

A soft brown cow stood in front of him with doe eyes. Not his menacing brother that could easily kill him with one fail swoop.  
  
Hello sweet girl. Mind if I room with you tonight? I promise I’ll be gone come morning.

The cow mooed once more and Tommy nodded settling his stuff on the floor. He nestled up to the cow keeping the compass close to his heart and with the toll of his injuries plus journey the long journey through the snow, he fell asleep for the first time that week. The torch light burnt out quickly leaving the boy and the cow in a peaceful night’s rest. Tomorrow he could deal with the consequences of breaking and entering his brother’s home. Maybe Techno would make his death quick. 

—

Tommy’s sleep deprived body slept through the entirety of the following day.

_A lot could happen in 24 hours._

A brother could return home from gathering supplies.

  
A president could stumble upon the ruins of a campsite, journey home in anguish , and tell the remaining family of the loss of a brother.

A father could learn how a heart can break more than once as he journeys out to piece together the fragments.

A ghost could learn that not everyone who is blue shows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally speedran writing this chapter, but then I felt guilty because this is such a heavy subject to cover.  
>  To anyone who resonated with Tommy during this arc I want you to know that even when things seem to hit rock bottom, things only go up from there. <3
> 
> Thank you for the comments and the kudos. You are all too kind.


	4. Just come home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family reunion for the ages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got sidetracked in writing this so I hope this long chapter is worth the wait. I spilt it in half actually. So the next chapter is almost done being written as well!
> 
> Also quick timeline update Tommy has been asleep the whole day Techno is gone and Phil arrives.

It was a rather cold night Techno had decided as he and Carl rode through the flurry of snow coming down. They rode through the local village only stopping to slay some of the mobs that threaten the villagers with good trade deals.

His communicator hummed in his cloak.

Techno led Carl to a clearing in the woods and fished the device from his cloak. A private message from Phil:

_I failed again Techno. Tommy’s gone._

Techno felt the cold sink into his bones momentarily. He couldn’t have? Not Tommy. He’s too headstrong. He’d stop at nothing to get his disks back. A little exile wouldn’t kill him.

_Would it?_

No. Tommy probably ran off. Dream lost him and made Phil find him. That’s it. Tommy’s just hiding. Tommy’s really good at hiding when he wants to be.

—

_“How long am I counting?” The piglin boy asked pulling his flyaway hairs behind his ear._

_”Hmm... 30 seconds!” squealed the blonde little boy. He had just learned the number with Phil the other day._

_”Tommy 30 seconds is not a lot of time. You probably can’t even make it past that oak tree over there in that time.” Wilbur countered reaching down to ruffle the boy’s hair._

_”Can too! You bitch!” Tommy cried kicking the brunet in the shin._

_”Ow. Language.”_

_”Start counting Techno!”_

_”One. Two. Three...” The piglin shut his eyes and rested his head in his sleeves leaning on the tree._

_”Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen.”_

_The forest floor echoed of running feet._

_”Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty. Ready or not here I come.”_

_  
Techno began searching the immediate area, checking low in bushes and looking high in branches-_

_“Will come down. I can see you up there.” Techno spotted his twin precariously clutching the smaller branches at the top of the tree trying to cover himself with their leaves. “Your sweater is a dead giveaway!”_

_”Is not!” Wilbur huffed climbing down and landing with a thud. “Where’s Tommy?”_

_”I haven’t found him yet.”_

_”Techno he had thirty seconds.You’re telling me I lost to a six year old brat?”Wilbur groaned, slipping his hand through his curls._

_”Not so proud are you Will? Help me find him. We should start heading home soon.” Techno snorted and began looking again in the spots he already checked in, in case Tommy may have moved._

_Nothing._

_”He couldn’t have gone far right? His legs are so tiny.” Techno voiced to Wilbur as they both returned to clearing they started at._

_  
“We’ll go a little bit further this time. We’ll find him.” Wilbur reassured patting his brother on the shoulder before heading out._

_They walked further. Past the tree Wilbur pointed out and began shouting Tommy’s name.  
_

_No response._

_”Fuck. Techno this is bad. What are we going to tell Phil!?” Wilbur began to panic, wildly combing through the bushes for any hint of his baby brother._

_A little ways away from a tall oak was an almost unnoticeable patch of blood. Techno noticed it and tried to tune out Wilburs panicked breathing._

_”Wilbur shhh! Do you hear that?”_

_The boys quieted and the forest went still. Faint cries were heard in the area. Techno followed them as if he had some sort of echo location. Wilbur followed frantically behind._

_In the hollow base of a wide oak was a little boy with puffy red cheeks and a skinned knee._ _”Did I win Techno?” He hiccuped trying to hold back any more tears from falling._

_Techno softened pulling his brother from the hole in the tree, “Yeah big man. You won this one.”_

_Tommy brushed the tears away with his tiny fists and put together his most shit eating grin for Wilbur. “I told you so Bitch.”_

_Wilbur thought for a moment before he ultimately flipped off the child._

_—_

Techno and Carl made it back to the cabin as fast as they could travel. Carl could sense Techno’s worry which only motivated him to gallop faster.

When he walked in he saw Phil hunched over a cup of coffee, eyes red with tears. Techno rushed over and pulled his dad into a hug. The elder wrapped his wings around them and sheltered him close.

“He’s not gone, is he Phil? He’s just hiding. He always does this. Let’s go find him.” Techno tried to pull away to go put back on his cloak. 

  
“No. Not this time Tech.” Phil whispered softly, pulling his son back into his arms. _His last son left._ ”He towered to the sky with the remains of Logstedshire. Dream blew the place to smithereens.”

Techno felt the voices well up inside him all spouting anger and resentment towards Dream, their cravings for blood. 

  
_Blood for the Blood God!_ They chanted.

  
Techno would cross that bridge later, he assured them. Blood wouldn’t bring back his brother. Heroes don’t get happy endings like that. Heroes get struck with whatever the villain can get their greasy fingers on. All good heroes have to die sometimes.

”Why him!?” Techno shouted at the sky.

  
  
Dream, the omnipresent immortal man, had to pick his family to screw with.

Had to pick and twist at his brother’s minds.

Had make one a martyr.

And the other his punching bag.

**Why couldn’t he have picked him?**

_Picked a fair fight._ Not play dirty and weasel his way into their trust then watch as they tear themselves apart.

”Phil you can’t die on me. I’m not letting you make me an orphan.” Techno tried to joke, tried to pull himself together, tried to be the man of the house that he always had to be for his brothers.

”Not a chance mate.” Phil chuckled lightly into his son’s hair. He straightened up and tucked his wings back into himself. He tried to compose himself before he remembered a sickening thought..

_**“Techno what are we going to tell Will?”** _

“We don’t. Wilbur is content with his blue, his sheep, and his books. He doesn’t need to know.” Techno stood gathering together a spare blanket and pillow from his chests.

”Techno we can’t just-“

”Why not Phil? He won’t even believe us will he!? **_He’s a fucking amnesiac_** and won’t move on from childishly handing people blue dye to cure their sadness! **_He won’t even remember Tommy, or me, or you! He’s not my brother anymore!_** ” Techno snaps.

_The air in the room seemed to grow colder than the snow outside._

“I-oh god. I don’t mean it Phil.” Techno rambled trying to make excuses for his actions. He had been so wound up for so long and now he just felt hollow and small, just like that old oak tree. _The small boy curled inside the roots, biting the inside of his cheek raw trying to stay quiet. The blood slowly trailing down his skinned knee. Being so overwhelmed and alone._

“Take your time mate.” Phil replied softly trying to slowly ease Techno back into the conversation.

Techno shook his head from the memory, there was time to reminisce later. ”The world couldn’t have taken him Phil. What about the communicators? They would have said something.” Techno tried to bargain with him.

”They said he fell from a tall height Techno. We all know what that means.” Phil consoled him trying to pull Techno into another hug, but he strayed from his reach. 

  
  
“No Phil. He’s out there somewhere I know it. There’s no way I’m not giving up on him yet. He’s hiding somewhere, we just have to find the clues.” Techno reasoned.

Phil let out a sigh and gathered the blanket and pillow Techno had gotten out for him. “Sleep on it Techno. We’ll talk again in the morning when you’re ready.”   
  


Techno grumbled, but still bid Phil a goodnight. Retreating to his room and staring out his window at the falling snow Techno refused to give up.

  
“I know you’re out there Tommy. You can come out now. You’ve won the game.” 

—

The sun had risen like it does day after day.

Techno pulled on his new blue cloak, the one he had been tailoring to rebuild the Arctic Empire in, a cloak he had given to Phil, one he would have given to Tommy once he and Phil had a true plan to start their own nation without Dream interfering.

He made his way downstairs, Phil was already nursing a cup of coffee he gathered from the smell wafting in the air. He approached the table to find his father in a deep conversation with Ghostbur.

“It wasn’t nice out there Phil. It was snowing and it burned like rain can you believe it!?” Ghostbur huffed in childish frustration.

“Snow is just frozen rain Will. It’s science.” Techno joined.

“Oh Techno! It’s great to see you again. You have a lovely home!” Ghostbur flashed him a smile.

“Why is he here Phil?” Techno deadpanned, trying to not let Ghostbur see his frustration.

“We never quite got to that conversation, did we Will?” Phil took a long sip of his coffee.

“Oh my manners. I come all the way out here and don’t offer any blue. My bad.” Ghostbur dodges the question and instead rummages through the small backpack he was carrying with him. He pulled out some blue dye and began distributing it to his family, giving Phil more than Techno. 

“Will why did you come here?” Techno tried. The ghost didn’t seem to like where this conversation was going, but Techno couldn’t give a shit right now, he was grieving.

The ghost looked sheepish and guilty reaching back into his backpack and pulling out a leatherback tome. “I know it’s not nice to look through other people’s things without their permission but you left this chest unlocked and I got awfully curious. You’re not mad at me, are you Phil?” Ghostbur shrunk into himself waiting for someone to scream at him. It’s usually what happened when the others found out he was stealing their books for his sewer library.

“Where did you-“ Phil’s eyes landed on the cover. “Will I can explain-“

“I’m not upset Phil. You slayed the dragon alivebur. You made so many people happy. I just wish you were also happy Phil.” Ghostbur tried to make eye contact as he pulled his sleeves over his hands and fiddled with them. “He’s okay though, right Phil? Tommy fine, right?” 

_A clatter could be heard downstairs._

“Zombies!” The ghost cried.

“Will it’s mid morning the Zombies would have burnt in the sun by now.” Phil reassured getting up from his seat at the table.

Techno grabbed his sword and made his way outside to his cellar. “I’m going in first. Stand back Phil in case it’s a baby zombie.”

“Techno you’re joking.”

“Stay behind me.”

Techno opened the door with a loud thud. A skittering was heard then the grinding sound of his false floor. Not his pumpkin head mobs! He worked so hard to get those.

He relaxed his grip on the sword and lifted the slab of stone out of place. He hopped down into the dark. The groans of the mobs were still there. Techno was ready to swing into the dark for the intruder, he had grown rather talented using his other senses to hunt his prey.

“Please make it quick! I’m sorry for intruding!”

“Tommy?”

Techno whistled for Phil. “Light a torch for me.” Phil passed down through the hole Ghostbur coming down with him. The light illuminated the chamber.

Backed up against the wall, shaking like a leaf. Tightly curled in a ball, appearing far younger than they were was the familiar face of Tommyinnit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also huge thank you for the kudos and kind comments. They really keep me going. <3


	5. Healing Takes Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road to recovery is a slow one, but it’s always nice when you don’t have to walk alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Option 3 won and oh my goodness thank you all for 100 kudos. I am beyond thankful. You all give me the confidence to keep writing and ugh if I could hug you I would!

“Please make it quick! I’m sorry for intruding!”

“Tommy?”

Techno whistled for Phil. “Light a torch for me.” Phil passed down through the hole Ghostbur coming down with him. The light illuminated the chamber.

Backed up against the wall, shaking like a leaf. Tightly curled in a ball, appearing far younger than they were was the familiar face of Tommyinnit. 

“Please make it quick!” He peeped, peeking out from his ball. He knew the strength of his big brother. He watched many of his a Wilburs duels growing up. He’d seen him murder his best friend in cold blood due to ‘peer pressure’. He could only shiver at the thought of being next.

Techno let his sword clatter to the ground. He rushed forward and the young boy flinched curling further into himself. “Tommy?” He whispered softly to the boy. 

“Just make it quick Techno. I don’t care what you use. I need no flair for dramatics.” The blonde pleaded, feeling his tears begin to choke him.

“What. Tommy. No Tommy I’m not going to kill you. You’re alive. I knew it.” Techno pulled the boy into a hug and the boy felt so bony and thin. He tried to fight his way out of the hug, but his body seemed to give up way faster than his will to fight back. “You’re home Tommy.” Techno tried to soothe the weeping boy.

“My son.” Phil joined in on the hug and Wilbur as well. The family let go of the hug and Tommy was unresponsive. The room was far too quiet.

“Tommy?” Techno tried to get an answer, maybe even a joke or insult from his brother.

He just sat shaking, his eyes trained to the ground. His thoughts were racing.

~~_Why? Why did I land in water? Dream’s going to know. He has to have known. They’re going to give me away. They are going to hand me back to Dream. I can’t trust them I can’t trust them. They are my family yet they don’t care for me. They’re going to hand me over to him. To that monster. Maybe it’s better that way. I’m a liability._ ~~

~~~~

“Will?” He croaked, still choked up on his tears.

All eyes went to the ghost. Ghostbur floated closer to Tommy nervously playing with his sleeves again, a bad habit.

“Will, do you like being a ghost?” Tommy asked him so softly, so sincere. His murky gray eyes glistened.

“Oh”

Ghostbur was never really asked this type of question. People tended to avoid talking to him as a whole. There wasn’t much he could remember from his time living. Everything that seemed pleasant, his mind sheltering him from the harmful memories. If he could forget about all the hateful things that made him this way or live as a supposed maniacal president that made children fight in wars. What live would he rather live? It’s true he also missed the little things like the sensation of trying to catch your breath after running in a long race where you are so close to the finish line that you can taste victory. The steady beating of his heart as his son laid on his chest before all the years and fighting, just him and his happy family. Where was his son now? He missed dancing on two legs with Niki in her bakery after hours to cheesy songs on the radio. Was giving up all those great things really worth forgetting the ‘bad’? 

Wilbur growled in frustration, adjusting his beanie. “It’s not that simple Tommy.”

“But you’re happier this way.” Tommy countered finally looking up from the floor and into his brother’s eyes.

“I-yes and no.”

“When can I slip away Will? I’m so tired of it all. He’s coming for me. I know he is. I can’t hide from him.” Tommy whined, curling into Phil’s lap. Phil ran a hand soothingly up and down Tommy’s back as he wept.

“Dream?” Techno inquired

Tommy could only nod. He wanted to bury himself into Phil’s embrace and to never be found again. That warm fatherly love, his large gray wings shielding him from the world, and Phil’s amazing stories of his adventures. Telling him about how mom is working hard to ensure a future for him up in the stars. Tommy would give anything to stay here like this, small and dependent, like the child he once was. He wished that hadn’t seen war, betrayals, and loss.

“Mate let’s get you cleaned up and then you can get some sleep. You’re not looking so good.” Phil comforted, guiding Tommy up the ladder and into the home. He put on a warm fire and sent Tommy off to freshen up. 

—

While Tommy was in the shower the family began their talks of Dream and the horrors they’d afflict upon the masked man for harming the baby of the family. They were listing off ways of torture and blood letting before Ghostbur came up with a thought..

“Why not stick him in the prison?”

“What prison Will?” Phil questioned the boy.

“Gossip from Ranboo. He told me Dream commissioned Sam for an inescapable prison. You’ve seen it Phil, the big black building on the shore!” Ghostbur chirped happily.

“That-that could actually work. Lock him in solitude, a taste of his own medicine.” Techno loved it and the voices hummed in agreement. 

“We lure out the beast, rally the town together, and then the hunting party commences. A manhunt for the history books.” Phil plotted.

—

Tommy stood in the bathroom mirror gazing at his reflection. It had been so long since the last time he had seen himself. He wanted to weep. The bags under his eyes, the sunken in cheeks, his eyes had lost their hue, not to mention the amount of dirt caked on him. He turned the shower on trying to get the water to warm up before getting in.

~~_How pitiful the great Thesus._ ~~

~~~~

Leave me alone. You’re not real.

_~~You can’t hide from him you know? He is coming. He’s furious Tommy.~~ _

I’ve got my brothers. My family will protect me. Dream can’t hurt me anymore, Phil said so. I have my family behind me. I am safe.

Tommy took a deep breath feeling the tap water run warm. He turned off the sink and slowly stripped off the ragged remains of his clothes. He scrubbed himself clean until it burned against skin. Only when the water ran clear in the drain did he step out. Finding a set of clothes for him on the counter.

Tommy dressed himself in the nicely tailored clothes. They fit loosely on him which could be attributed to his eating habits he had picked up from Dream, but Tommy tried to dismiss the though. He felt confident in the sleek navy pants and the white collared shirt. He felt almost princely in the tall leather boots and blue fur lined cloak.

Tommy looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was almost laughable. He thought he was a prince, but his reflection screamed gaunt Victorian boy asking for spare change.

He cracked a smile.

A soft knock on the door.

“Tommy are you okay in there.” Phil asked.

“Um. Yeah. You can come in. The door isn’t locked.” Tommy replied

The hinges creaked and Phil came in and looked Tommy up and down. He was definitely in need of good meal, he was almost drowning in that shirt.

“You look good Tommy.”

Tommy’s chest warmed with the sentiment. He gave Phil a grateful nod.

“Techno preparation lunch, mushroom stew. He added some carrots for you.” 

“Thanks Phil.”

The two headed downstairs and and joined the rest of the family at the table. If it weren’t for Tommy’s newfound quiet demeanor, Phil would say it was a meal like any other.

After the late lunch borderline dinner, Wilbur shooed Tommy off to bed, wanting to reduce the heavy purple bags under his eyes. The brothers each took turns watching over their little brother as he slept, making sure that someone was there to comfort him whenever a night terror arose.

—

_Tommy dreamt of Dream chasing him down, hands fill of tnt ready to light. Tommy ran and ran, the fast beating of his heart matching his footfalls as he neared the border of L’manberg._

_“Tubbo! Tubbo help me! He’s going to kill me! Tubbo!”_

_The town was empty. His cries rang through the air. So he kept running with Dream’s taunts just on his heels._

_The scenery around him changed and he was in the snow. Dream slashing at him as Tommy tries not to trip through heavy snow._

_A rock in the snow._

_Tommy is sent flying face first into the snow._

_“Dream please. I’m sorry. I’ll listen I promise. Take the armor! I don’t want to die please!”_

—

“TOMMY!” 

Tommy shot up knocking his head into something hard.

“Ow.” 

Tommy’s eyes adjusted to the light to familiar pink hair and red eyes. 

“I’m sorry Techno. I’m sorry.” Tommy rapidly apologized.

“It’s okay Tommy. I just needed you up. It sounded like things were rough in there.” Techno flicks Tommy’s forehead.

“I’m- it’s noth- yeah... it got pretty bad.”

“Scoot over.”

“What?”

“Scoot over. I want to try something.”

So Tommy made room for his brother who wrapped his arms around him. Not threatening and squeezing the air out of him. No. He held him gently and comforting. They laid down and Tommy began to doze off. 

As soon as he was out, he subconsciously tucked himself closer to Techno. The pair slept on the small twin bed this time no nightmares and no loud voices thirsting for blood, just two brothers in solidarity.


	6. Your Tubbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all you need is someone to be there for you at least that’s what Tommy thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! We are currently in a family crisis and I was hoping to get the chapter out before the 25th. Oh well. Today is my brother’s birthday!

Tommy wakes up. His long gangly limbs search the bed for the warmth of his brother before his eyes even flutter open. 

The bed is empty.

~~Of course it is.~~

—

In the early morning hours the rest of the family had been making breakfast and talking about what they’d do when they get their hands on Dream.

“He’s a monster Phil. I didn’t see it before because he acted so nice. He told me he would watch over Tommy while I was away in L’manberg. He told me to go walk in the rain Phil, and I listened. I burnt. He hurt Tommy. You saw him. He’s skin and bones. He’s manipulative and a scary. He has far too much power over everyone!” Ghostbur darted back and forth across the living room. The once cheerful ignorant ghost was burning with a feeling he doesn’t remember having. _Anger._

“Will, even if I’m helping, which I am, we need to have backup in case Dream plans ahead or has allies of his own.” Techno disputed, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

Phil flipped another pancake on the griddle listening along. “We could always recruit L’manberg?”

“Phil. Need I remind you that I am a wanted man in that country and they have reason to distrust you as well. Why would they even listen to what we have to say? When did a government ever care about its citizens?” Techno snorted.

The blonde bit his lip in concentration. “Tubbo,” He states.

“Tubbo?” Came a drowsy voice.

Tommy stood in the living room his cloak tightly wrapped around him. He rubs the sleep from his eyes. “What about Tubbo?”

“Tommy. Just in time for breakfast. I made pancakes.” Phil smiles, going over to set a plate down at the table. 

Tommy goes and seats himself at the table, but that doesn’t stop his questioning as he absentmindedly fiddles with the compass hanging from his neck. He opens it to find the arrow pointing sharply and insistently in one direction. “What about Tubbo?” He asked keeping his tone light and respectful, they could hand him off to Dream at any second. He needed to behave like an absolute angel to ensure his spot.

“We were just talking about possibly getting help from L’manberg and I mentioned Tubbo.” Phil replied.

Tubbo.

_His best friend._

Could he still call him that?

Would he call him that back?

~~He doesn’t care about you Tommy he burned his compass.~~

I _ ~~care about you Tommy.~~_

__

_~~I’m your best friend.~~ _

__~~~~

~~~~

_**Best friends wouldn’t exile each other.** _

“Tommy?”

Tommy snaps out of his inner monologue to Techno’s expectant gaze. “I’m sorry what did you want Techno?”

“I asked if you pass the syrup two minutes ago.” Techno laughed a little at Tommy’s confused gaze. Tommy reached for the syrup bottle, not even a foot away from his plate while mumbling out numerous apologies. 

“Don’t bother. I had Will pass it over when you were unresponsive. Are you feeling well Tommy?” 

Tommy thought about his answer carefully. Dream didn’t like it when he lied to him, but he also didn’t like it when complained about being in pain. 

Dream would just tell him, _“you deserve this Tommy. You messed up, now accept your punishment with dignity.”_

What if Techno hits me?

Should he lie? His stomach ached horribly and his ankle was still throbbing from being shot the other day. Techno wouldn’t be mad. ~~But the voices?~~ Tommy knew they craved blood, he knew his was one fuck up away from being on their kill list. 

“Tommy?” Techno asked again.

~~He knows. You’re taking too long idiot. Give him an answer.~~

“No.” Tommy finally answered, looking at his brother. He was trembling in his seat.

“Tommy what’s bothering you?” Techno phrased his question very vague.

_A lot is bothering you Tommy. Am I bothering you? You seem to enjoy my company._ **Don’t you, little brother?**

Tommy felt chills run up his spine as he stared out into space. It was talking to him. The voices were talking to him. They sounded like Dream. Tommy didn’t notice the tears beginning to fall down his cheeks, he just felt someone hold him close to their heart and rub comforting circles on his back.

“They’re in my head.” He whispered, the tears turning into a sob.

Tommy was pulled away far enough that he could register it was Phil holding him. He pushed aside his long bangs and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

“We will bring you justice Tommy, you are not broken, nor will you ever be. All of this will come to a peaceful end.” He spoke so confidently and lovingly that for just a moment, Tommy believed him.

“We will make it to L’manberg, we will tell the land of what’s been done, and come morning light, an army we shall build.” Techno gave Tommy a nod of solidarity. He would not see his brother waste away like this any longer. He wants his hotheaded brother who wasn’t afraid of his own shadow, wasn’t afraid to take on someone two times his sized, wasn’t afraid to call anyone a bitch. “Will, do you still have your old communicator?” 

The ghost perked up at his name and dug around in his backpack. He pulled out stacks upon stacks of blue, and stacks of parchment he kept for journaling before pulling out a dusty communicator and some blue berry muffins that looked days old.

“It appears I do. What do you want me to write?” He replied, grin wide on his face. He could finally be useful, something more than a cheerful amnesiac.

Techno stood, clearing away the plates from breakfast and giving his family a prideful smirk.

“Contact President Tubbo. Write: 

> Dear government,
> 
> In regards to the event of exiling one Tommyinnit, we have recovered and rescued the boy from hostile hands of a green tyrant. We wish an audience with the public of L’manberg tomorrow at noon.

Warm regards, The Sleepy Bois”

—

Across the wide ocean, in the seaside city, a young President dries his tears and steps out into the sun for the first time since visiting the ruins of where he believed his best friend to have perished.

The sun rising to its highest point in the sky, the President looked over his flourishing country and wrote back: 

> Dear Sleepy Bois,
> 
> L’manberg awaits your arrival with weapons down. I’m sure we have much to discuss.

Warm regards, President Tubbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the kudos and warm comments! I’m very excited to write the next chapter.


	7. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting that could have gone a little smoother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcannon Dadschlatt for this fic. Just a heads up. ;) He was still found on the side of the road tho.

A nation sat with bated breath at the town’s main market square for the arrival of the Sleepy Bois. 

Tubbo in his fine navy suit and golden epaulets paced to and fro in front of the wanted poster for Technoblade.

The ache of the wither incident and the betrayal of death by fireworks was something Tubbo liked to think he had moved on from. He would be lying if he said he didn’t jump at the sound of loud noises around L’manberg and try to shield himself. 

It was silly. He’s being silly. They had news on Tommy, hopefully good news because as far as he could gather from the remains of Logstedshire, Tommyinnit, his best friend, had taken his own life.

He was praying to Church Prime that it wasn’t so.

He had started to feel guilty for exiling Tommy because the longer Tommy spent away and left Tubbo unbothered, the more he had begun to realizing how the crime Tommy committed was nothing compared to what some of the others had done and continued to do. 

The so called “Butcher Army” had created a hit list and was planning out executions without the consent of their president. 

Did Wilbur really make him president, or did he just give a title, a fancy suit, and a job far beyond his years?

Tubbo ripped down the wanted poster and all eyes turned to him.

“The arrival of our guests will not be a pleasant one if we don’t enforce a welcoming atmosphere.” He explained.

The eyes of his people seemed unsure yet went about tearing down the other wanted posters that dawned the nation’s bulletin boards. 

“Big Q. a word please?” Tubbo spotted the duck hybrid fiddling with unkept feathers rather than helping spruce up the city. Quackity’s head perked up after being caught.

“What is it Mr. President?” He addressed him with a respectful nod.

Tubbo gave a soft chuckle, “So I’m the President when you’re in trouble, but not when it comes to formal duties huh?” 

“What? No! Tubbo. Tubbo. Listen. Is it really a good idea to be dealing with terrorists here?” Quackity rapid fire spat.

“They are welcome into L’manberg on business and I should hope you don’t assemble that gang of yours and threaten our guests. Do this as my Vice President Big Q.”

“Are you serious right now Tubbo?! You’re really going to welcome Technoblade, a maniacal pig, destroyer of L’manberg, your murder, back into your nation just like that?! Are you insane! We could easily just trap him when he gets here and finish the job!” Quackity grew more and more agitated, raising his voice, until he finally snapped.

All eyes were on him.

The duck man shrunk in on himself, tucking his wings close. He adjusted his beanie to try and block out the world around him. He had a point, why wasn’t Tubbo getting it through his thick skull!?

“Big Q, if you cannot handle this meeting in a civilized manner then I kindly ask you to sit this one out.” 

Tubbo didn’t yell, didn’t scream or curse him out, for the first time in a while he sounded like the figurehead of authority that he dresses like. 

Quackity bowed his head in submission before retreating into his joint home he shared with his fiancé’s. 

Tubbo watched him leave before reaching for his compass he kept in his coat pocket. The arrow still swaying as usual. 

“Right well, our guests should be arriving soon and I expect civilized behavior. I know how they have wronged us in the past and it’s understandable that not all have forgiven them for their grievances, but trust in your President that I will get to the bottom of whatever their situation is without inciting acts of violence.”

The people listened with intent to their President. He may be young and inexperienced, but when he needed to, he could give one hell of a speech. The crowd clapped and cheered not noticing the few newcomers who joined the scene.

—

“President Tubbo.” Phil remarked cooly, keeping his hands on his sword sheath should anyone in the crowd that outnumber them come too close. 

The young president quickly caught the eyes of his stepfather along with Technoblade, in full netherite armor.

“Welcome, I ask you remove your armor before we continue on with our discussion.” Tubbo put together his best smile and acted as cordial as he could.

_Where was Tommy? They wrote about him in their message. Where was he?_

“Is that really necessary? We are clearly outnumbered.” Techno huffed, crossing his arms.

“It’s a L’manberg policy I’m afraid, that and your reputation precedes you.” 

“And your reputation as traitor best friend precedes you as well. ‘Mr. President’ “ Techno seethed. The voices where angry. Tommy wouldn’t be a mentally hollow ptsd ridden teen if Tubbo hadn’t exiled him in the first place. 

_Traitor Tubbo_

_Pissboy President_

_Fake Friend_

_Tyrant_

_Schlatt the second_

A hand laid on his shoulder. Techno looked immediately to Phil who gave him a promising nod. Techno grumbled to himself as he stripped himself of his armor, leaving his bourgeois kingly attire. “Can we talk in private?” Techno hated every second of this.

The president gave his people a charming smile as he dismissed them to go about the rest of their days. “We could always talk in the war room in the holy land if that makes you feel more at ease without your armor?” Tubbo suggested.

“Yes. That’ll do.”

—

The tension in the room was thick. The three remained settled into their seats, but the room stood at a stand still, neither of the parties wanting to start. 

“So about Tommy-

“We have pressing-

“So sorry you go first.” Tubbo apologized. 

“How much were you aware of what down during Tommy’s exile?” Techno questioned, his leg bouncing impatiently under the table.

“I. Well, Dream would give me updates on occasion talking about Tommy being reckless and shooing off visitors. Dream once showed me a bite mark on his arm so I told the people of L’manberg to slow down on the visits.” Tubbo explained carefully, trying to recount all the details.

“Bullshit,” Phil swore.

“Pardon?” Tubbo’s eyes widened at his stepfather’s language.

“Dream has been lying to you. Tommy had been following all of Dream’s stupid rules and every time Dream came he made Tommy blow up his armor and tools. He bullied and beat Tommy. He suffered so much and no one came to help him.” Techno growled.

He wanted revenge.

Tommy was probably at home curled into the couch cushions while Will funneled more and more blue into the younger’s hands, rather than talk things out.

_Kill Dream_

_Kill Tubbo_

_Blood_

_Kill Dream_

_Blood for the Blood God_

_E_

_Revenge Arc_

_Blood for the Blood God_

_Sadinnit_

“But he-“

“Dream is a manipulative person Tubbo. He could’ve told you anything, but if someone is being so reckless and wild why would they make an attempt on their life? _If ‘as Dream said’ he was so keen on getting home and fighting his way back, why would he try and take his final life?_ ” Phil spoke up after the long silence between his sons. 

“That pillar. He didn’t- is Tommy okay?” Tubbo bit his lip. 

“He’s alive.” Techno assured.

Tubbo sighed in relief. He’s alive. His heart felt lighter in his chest. “Could I see him?” He asked politely, his thumb gently passing over the compass in his suit pocket. 

“We are here to form an alliance with L’manberg.” Phil butt in again.

“An alliance? What for?” 

“We have heard rumors of an inescapable prison being built on the shore of your nation and we propose to lock Dream up in it. We need extra hands in catching the shifty bastard to lock him up.” Techno piped in, gesturing to the region on the Smp map. 

“The rumors are true, but I don’t control this prison, Sam does. If you are planning on locking anyone up it’s through Sam’s approval.” 

“Tubbo why do we need approval!? Dreams a shit person. Isn’t that enough reason to put him behind bars?” Techno growled, impatience getting to him.

“The same could be said for you.”

“Oh now don’t make me get my Axe of Peace!” Techno lunged for his armor at the door but was held back by Phil. “Let me go Phil! Let me at him!” 

Tubbo stuck his tongue out at him. Which only furthered Techno's rage. 

**“For fucks sake. KNOCK IT OFF!” Phil yelled.**

The boys quieted down and gave their attention to him. 

“We’ll get Sam’s approval, you will rally your people, and we will attend to Tommy before we can gather and take down Dream.” Phil explained, letting the heat of his tone die down slowly.

“Yes, Phil.” Tubbo nodded not meeting Phil’s eyes like a child being told off for eating too many sweets.

“Good. We’ll be off then. Meet back at the plaza in a weeks time.” Phil instructed, turning and gathering his weapons at the door.

“Phil.”

“Yes Tubbo?” He stopped halfway out the door.

“Do you think I could- could I maybe. Am I allowed to visit Tommy?” Tubbo asked, finally raising his eyes to meet the stony gaze of his stepfather, the man who took him in off the side of the road. His eyes held no empathy behind them. 

“That’s for Tommy to decide.” Phil replied slipping out the door following Techno back home. 

—

When the door clicked closed the president sunk to the floor and fished the compass from his pocket. 

The smooth gleaming metal felt ice cold in his hands.

He stared at the little red arrow as it swayed with his movements. 

_**“Would you ever forgive me Tommy?”**_ The tears he had been holding in fell in defiance, much like his best friend.

**“I need you.”**

He clutched his compass close to his heart and let his tears consume him.

_Far across the land, in the snowy little cottage, the blonde boy had done the same._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and lovely comments. I don’t know why the part 2 message keeps popping up in my chapter notes? Really weird. Next chapter as a treat I may reunite the boys. As a treat of course! ;)


	8. Not a chapter I’m so sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry this isn’t a chapter. I’m having the busiest week of my life. School gave me a six page six sources research paper to write in the span of 4 days and I’m struggling to write the conclusion paragraph as I’m typing this message.

I will 100% have the next chapter posted by Saturday.

Again I’m so sorry that this isn’t an update. I’ve felt absolutely awful all week trying to write the next chapter and write my school paper.   
  


I will see you all Saturday! ❤️


	9. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brothers heal and make confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, so sorry this took so long. School decided to throw so much at me at once.   
> I’m going to try and have an upload schedule of Tuesdays and Saturdays. Please don’t bully me if I don’t but, I’m going to make the effort to.

Back at home Tommy was curled up on Techno’s couch trying to withhold more tears from falling. The tear tracks on his face felt crusty and gross. He knows he should calm down and he would if he could, but all he felt was the ache in his heart.

“Tubbo.” He whispered, clutching his shiny metal compass close to his chest. “Never again will I cause a problem if you let me come home. I want to come home Tubbo.”

Ghostbur, who was running his chilled incorporeal hands through Tommy’s hair paused. “Tommy do you need some more blue?”

The boy hiccuped, his whole body shuddered from the chill seeping under the door. His puffy red face with eye bags large enough to hold riches beyond your wildest dreams, his hands stained blue like the deep unforgiving ocean. 

Tommy was a pitiful sight.

“No more blue Will. I think I’ve had enough for today,” His voice hoarse and cracking.

The ghost looked on in distress. “Are you sure? I could always go get some more. I’ve been meaning to get some for Phil.”

Tommy uncurled from the ball his gangly limbs were tucked in and looked his brother in the eyes for what might have been the first time since he died. “Hmm. Why’s Phil need blue?” Tommy tried to turn his thoughts off with conversation.

“I found a book of his. I don’t think he wanted me to see it, but I’m nosy, you know this Tommy.” Will bit his lip with a strained laugh.

“Old man isn’t as well put together as he wants us to think. He’s really pent up for killing me. I don’t see the problem, but dad is very mad at himself.” Will continued again running his fingers through Tommy’s hair.

“Are we all fucked up in this family big man?” Tommy joked. His fingers ran over the engraving on the compass, his mind drifting back to Tubbo.

“Pshhh! I’m doing excellent Tommy. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Will tried to lighten the mood. 

“Why did you have to die Will?” Tommy sat up, the cold hands no longer in his hair.

“What.”

“Why did you have to die Wilbur? They needed you, Tubbo needed you, I needed you. You were the leader of everything, you always had a plan at the ready, you wouldn’t have exiled me to that shit hole with no human contact, would you? You wouldn’t have let Dream manipulate me into realizing I’m nothing but a problem to everyone. You wouldn’t have let me jump that night.” 

Tommy felt the tears begin to fall again with fervor. He hadn’t brought this up with anyone. It’s not like anyone would care to listen or believe him. He was a reckless, selfish child, war worn and beaten blue time and time again and for what? Stupid music discs with sentimental attachment?

“Tommy. I-

“I needed someone to protect me from the world and from myself! I’m scared of sleeping Will. I hear his voice. Dream taunts me and teases me. I may never see Tubbo again before my final life is taken and Phil and Techno are out in L’manberg trying to find people to defend me!? No one came to visit me in exile! No one cared! No one is going to fight for the troublemaker, the fuckup, the insolent child! This is all pointless! Everyone is wasting their time and it’s time I see myself out of the mess I made before it gets any worse.” Tommy was rambling a mile a minute , but it felt so good to have it all out in the open. Everything he held so tight and locked up in his heart spewing out like molten lava, searing his insides yet feeling so much lighter. 

He tried heading out the front door, back into the snow to god knows where, but a freezing hand gripped at his wrist yanking him back.

“Sit down Tommy.”

“Will I’m just-

**“Sit!”**

Tommy looked at his brother again, the white pupil-less eyes and furled eyebrows. Tommy sat back on the couch and began picking at the scabs on his arms.

“Tommy I’m trying my best right now. I want to help you like he did. I want to be there for you. Gods you’re only 16!” Wilbur sat down and brought Tommy into his chest blue tears welled up in the ghost’s eyes.

“This form is limited, it can’t handle the complexities of loss and trauma.”Wilbur shuttered as pain spread around the sword wound in his chest. 

The remembering would be the death of him if he overdid it too much.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, getting rid of that vile feeling.

Tommy listened intently, his head resting on his brother’s chest.

“If I could, I would come back and fight for you with my entire being. No more idiot amnesiac, just a brother, acting like a real big brother should. I failed you once Tommy, I want to fix that. I want to be alive again.”

Tommy pulled away giving him an incredulous look. “Will you don’t mean that?” 

“But I do.” Will held Tommy’s hands and gave them a squeeze.

“What about friend?” Tommy suggested. He had only known the blue sheep for a couple of days but, he could see how attached at the hip Will was with that thing.

“Friend will always find me Tommy. Phil said they have infinite lives.” 

To that Tommy snorted. Of course his dad was say something like that. It was probably just to get Will to stop worrying and do something productive. Much like how Phil would talk about The Queen on road trips whenever Tommy would bug him hourly asking if they were there yet. Tommy smiled at the fond memory. 

“We will find a way to bring you back big man.”

*Eeeeeeeek click*

The door creaked open and in came Techno and Philza.

Tommy and Will stared down the newcomers and shuffle slightly away from each other on the couch.

The room was silent as each member was trying to decipher the mood. Tommy finally broke the silence, “How did it go?”

“We spoke with Tubbo and he is very eager to see you. We will return to L’manberg in a weeks time. Tubbo is throwing you a welcome home festival.” Phil undid the clasp of his cape and hung it on the coat rack.

“Wait what. When was that news?” Techno glowered. The president was still on thin ice with his trust, this was pushing it.

“He sent me a message on the way back. I figured we can’t keep Tommy all cooped up inside the cabin forever.” Philza shrugged, heading off to the kitchen to make some tea.

“So I’ll get to see everyone again?” Tommy asked softly. His eyes meeting Techno’s glowing red eyes.

“Pretty sure that’s how welcome home parties work Tommy.” Techno retorted.

“Fuck off.” Tommy flipped off the elder and curled back into the couch hiding the smile on his face.

—

With a week to prepare the young president bounced from house to house informing L’manberg citizens of the upcoming festival. 

The president wanting to make everything perfect for the return of his best friend. The banners, the balloons, the food, Tubbo couldn’t wait to tackle his friend in a hug and watch the sunset from their bench. 

_There was always the looming threat of Dream coming and ruining the festivities_ , but he wouldn’t come for Tommy when he was surrounded by friends and family.

Tubbo trimmed back some overhanging branches and weeds that had taken over the bench with a smile on his face. 

“I miss you Tommy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the hits and kudos. I’m trying to finish this book before I start anything new. I have some ideas for talesfromthesmp and general ghostbur/Wilbur lore that I want to write in the future.


	10. One Day More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decorating and questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m on tech crew for my school play! When I get the time, I’m writing two chapters in a sitting so I don’t miss an update. I’m making my update days Tuesday and Saturday.

With only two days till the festival, Tubbo was running from house to house with orders and party decorations. 

  


“Fundy! I’m so glad I found you! Could you help me hang the streamers up on the houses?”

Fundy looked sheepish, “uh I’m actually heading out on a date. I would Tubbo but, I gotta go. I don’t want to keep 5up waiting.” 

“Oh! Congratulations!” Tubbo brightened up and readjusted the stack of streamers and ribbons he was carrying. “I’ll find someone else, have fun on your date Fundy.” 

The fox gave him a wave before running off. The president looked around and spotted Quackity coming down from El Rapids. 

“Hey big Q!”

The duck man kept walking and pretended not to hear him despite Tubbo continuously saying his name.

“He seems busy. Maybe I should just try getting this done myself.”

He made his way to the end of the pier where Phil’s house is and began setting up the scaffolding. The light blue streamers swirling around the lime green streamers hung nicely with care. He started once again this time scaling Ranboo’s house. Orange and pink. 

“What are you up to?” 

Ranboo was somehow also on the roof. Tubbo jumped and nearly fell off, “jeez Ranboo, where did you come from?”

“Hmm... I like to think the end portal, some people say their mother, oh... you meant the roof?”

Tubbo nodded.

“I have a hatch over here for when I want to come up at watch the sunset, it’s a pretty nice view.”

Tubbo looked over the peak of the roof and there was indeed a trapdoor among the roofing. 

“Ranboo do you mind helping me hang some streamers on the houses? I’ve been going around asking for help but, everyone seems to be going places.”

“Are you sure they aren’t avoiding you?” Ranboo asked

“What? Why would they do that? They know how much this means to Tommy. He’s been through a lot and I think this party will get him back in shape.” 

Ranboo looked skeptical but, made an effort to help place more streamers on the remaining houses before sunset. 

As they were dismantling the last bit of scaffolding Tubbo turned to Ranboo with a weary smile, “have you seen Niki lately? I’ve been trying to meet with her to discuss making sweets for the party but, she’s proven difficult to find after the whole L’manberg blowing up thing.” 

“Niki? Let me check my memory book and see if I talked with her recently.”

Ranboo flipped open his nice leather bound journal and flitted through the newest of pages. A grocery list, building ideas, names for rabbits, a reminder to get more milk, a conversation with George, and a smiley face. 

“No I don’t, unfortunately. I wish you luck in finding her, Tubbo.” 

The boy gave a solemn nod and made his way back to his house. 

The door creaked with the night chill. Tubbo stashed his things over in a chest and moved into his room. He took off his shoes and then his nice navy coat. He pulled the shiny chrome compass from the suit pocket and flipped it open. The arrow pointed north, just where Tommy would be with the rest of the Sleepy Bois. After getting into pajamas he slipped into bed and held his compass once again. 

_“One more day.”_

—

Things were noisy at the Technoblade house all week. Once Tommy had comprehended that he was finally going back to L’manberg, he made it his whole deal to ask a million questions to Techno and Phil.

“Do you think Tubbo missed me?”

“Will there be flowers?”

“What if no one shows up?”

“I wonder if they’ll be cake?”

“Do you like chocolate or red velvet cake Techno?”

“What if piss someone off?”

“Will there be any new buildings?”

“Are the sunsets still good?”

“Is everyone invited or is this just us and Tubbo?”

“Am I going to be Vice President again?”

“ _ **What if Dream shows up?**_ ”

Tommy went still and the outpouring of questions ceased. “What if Dream shows up?” He asks again quieter this time. 

Techno, who had been working on crafting a new set of netherite armor trying to ignore Tommy’s incessant flow of questions put down his tools. The piglin gave a sigh and rubbed his face, “What do you think I’m crafting this armor for?” 

Tommy fiddled with his fingers. “Phil?” 

“It’s for you Theseus.” Techno rolled his eyes and turned back to his work.

“But I can’t have armor.” Tommy faltered.

“Really who told you that?” Techno mused tapping out the surface of the chest plate.

“Dream.”

“The same Dream that was a homeless abuser to you? That Dream?” Techno grunted.

Tommy got the point. He left Techno to finish his work and resolved to go seek out Phil or see if Wilbur was still around. They hadn’t ended on the best of subjects the other day and he had the growing urge to go profusely apologize to the ghost.

He found Phil out at the bee farm collecting honey. Tommy watched from the window as the man walked with such poise and class from nest to nest collecting bottles of honey whistling a tune. Tommy felt self conscious about his own posture and straightened up, immediately being spotted.

“What’s going on Tommy?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead.” Tommy shrugged making his way into the bee farm. “Do you need any help?” 

Phil smiled and capped the last bottle of honey. “No, I was just finishing up.” 

“Alright. Good talk.” Tommy tried walking away and Phil called out.

“Tommy, are you forgetting something?” 

“What. I don’t have any armor on me? Do you want my steak?” Tommy panicked.

“No. Tommy.” Phil’s eyes softened as he held out his arms. “A hug.” 

Tommy relaxed as he came in for the hug. Phil’s large black wings enveloping him. It was a nice hug. It had been too long. 

They finally pulled away walked back to the cabin together in silence. The silence was jarring or uncomfortable, it felt homely. When it came time to go to bed Tommy held his compass and watched the red arrow intently. “ _One day more_.” He whispered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and leaving Kudos! So incredibly kind of you! Comment your thoughts, questions, or theories for the next chapter 😄


	11. Voices in my Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day more before the festival commences and Tommy speaks with the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not having an update Tuesday. I had lots of homework. Lame but it’s true. This chapter is special to me because I incorporated my rhyme style poetry I write some times. For April I might create a poem book if anyone is interested in poetry. 🤔

‘Twas the day before the festival and all through the house

An excitement bubbled like fire that one could not douse

Young Tommy was pacing up and down past the stairs

So anxious to find out if his best friend really cares

Left and right as he picked at his nails

While a president plans and roughs out some last minute details

Philza at the kitchen attends his tea pot

And listens to Tommy ramble waiting on the tea which is too hot

Up wakes Techno and at the door knocks Will

Quickly annoyed by the younger with looks that could kill

Sat round the table eating breakfast as one

The family ate in shared silence of the rising warm sun

Off to his workshop and the clanging of his tools

Anyone who dare hurt his brother again have got to be fools

Will stayed the day passing his blue with delight

What will become a rich blue was once an ivory white

Tommy continued his mumbles about the discs and of Dream

Trying to figure out the speed runner’s evil scheme

Would he take him away or blow up his things instead?

Tommy didn’t want to know the plans laid ahead.

He would be with his Tubbo, his brother, his best friend!

He typed in his communicator but could not find it in him to hit send.

—

Tommy was nervous and excited, his whole stomach was churning. Only one more day. What would he wear? What about his hair? It’s gotten rather long. What will he say to Tubbo? Does he act as if nothing has changed? 

“Hey Tommy I want your opinion on something!” Will floated in his room. “Do you think I should give friend a haircut or keep it long?” 

Tommy stared at the fluorescent blue sheep. “Short? I guess,” He shrugged.

“Thank you!” Will lead the sheep out of the room probably off to go find some shears. 

_~~Hello again.~~ _

“Get out of my head.”

__

_~~Awe that’s cute, didn’t you miss me **little brother?**~~ _

“You’re not my brother, you’re not even my friend, get out of my head!”

_~~Why? So you can continue playing family and annoying your foster family? You’re a charity case to them. **A thing to pity.**~~ _

“That’s not true.”

_~~Then why do they baby you? You said it yourself, you’re not a child.~~ _

“Phil-“

“Yeah mate?” The elder poked his head into the room, hearing Tommy talking to someone. The room was completely empty. “Who you taking to?” 

Tommy looked around frantically and only spotted Phil in the doorway giving him a charitable frown.

“Oh. No one. Just thinking out loud,” He bit his lip hard trying to ignore the whispers in his head about his family. 

“You sure mate?” Phil watched the boy and his hands held a small tremor to them. “Penny for your thoughts?” He tried.

“If you think a penny will buy my secrets you’re going to need a lot more pennies Phil.” Tommy tried to joke. It seemed to work, Phil snorted and let the door shut on his way out.

_~~What did I tell you?~~ _

“Shut up you’re not real.”

__

_~~Keep telling yourself that. **See you soon Tommy.**~~ _

“What.”

The voice vanished and Tommy felt chills run down his spine. It’s not real. He must need some sleep or something, that’s it. A nice nap to take his thoughts off of Dream and L’manberg.

Tommy curled up under the covers of the bed and prayed for a nightmare less sleep.

—

Tommy woke up in a wooden rocking chair, the room around him was filled with a pale blue glow from the large window.

_“Tommy,” A soft feminine voice called._

Tommy searched for the source of the voice, spotting a woman at the door. Short blonde hair that danced at her shoulders, bright breathtaking blue eyes, a slim nose, and a knowing smile. She was so familiar but, he couldn’t place where he’d seen her before.

_“Thomas it’s bedtime,” Her voice carried through the air around him like a rolling wave._

“It’s not my bedtime?” Tommy whispered but, he was interrupted by the tiny tot curled in the messy bed by the window he had failed to spot.

_“But I can’t sleep! It’s too loud!” The blonde tot rubbed at his eyes trying to hide how sleepy he was._

This was him?

_“Thomas,” The woman scolded, her voice held a playful lilt to it._

_A loud crash sounded outside and the room illuminated briefly with light. The young boy shrieked and hid under the covers._

_“Oh baby. It’s okay, I’m here. Mommy’s here.” She sat down at the edge of the bed rubbing circles on the young boy’s back. She was gentle and warm, soothing like hot chocolate on a winter’s day._

**“Mom?”**

_The little boy peeked out from under the rocket ship comforter._

Tommy bit his lip and watched intently. He remembers this night, Dad and Techno were out on a trip to the next village over for trade agreements. There was a thunderstorm so loud and frightening. Tommy worried for his father and brother. 

_His mother pulled him into her lap and ran her fingers through his curly locks while they watched the lightning streak across the sky outside._

_“Thomas why are you scared of the lightning and thunder?”_

_“Am not. I just don’t like it.” The young boy huffed._

_Another bolt flashed filling the room with light. The thunder outside roared. The young boy shut his eyes and try to hide his shaky breathing._

> _“Just breathe my baby, dry your pretty eyes. Come morning there will be soothing blue skies. The waves will roll from the ocean to the sand. So rest now and go to a peaceful dreamland. I will hold you close and kiss all your worries gone. Trust your mother love, to have someone to lean on. My baby it’s dark and the world is quite scary. I will protect you love, my special little strawberry.”_

_“Mommm,” The young boy groaned._

_She giggled, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Sleep Thomas, I’m sure they’ll be home in the morning.”_

_She rose from the bed and tucked in the young boy. She made it to the door and before she could make it out the thunder groaned and howled outside._

_“Mom, please don’t go,” The little boy pleaded._

_She smiled and returned to her spot on the bed, “I thought you weren’t scared of the thunder?”_

_“I’m not. I just don’t want to be alone again,” The little boy protested sinking into his cover as sleep overcame him._

_**“You’re not alone Tommy. You’re mother is always right here.”** She stared at the rocking chair in the corner with the most loving of smiles. _

Tommy felt safe and protected. Just as she said the next morning his father and brother returned with goods enough for a feast. It was one of the nicest family dinners they ever had.

“ ~~Tommy~~.”

“Hmm?”

~~**“Tommy!”** ~~

**“Tommy wake up! It’s L’manberg day!”**

Tommy’s eyes shot open and there was Wilbur on of him, sporting a cheery grin.

**  
“It’s L’manberg day!”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Tommy’s mom oc makes me soft. She didn’t die or anything. She’s just an astronaut. She is canonically only Tommy’s real mother out of the Sleepybois. If anyone wants more backstory or lore on her, shoot me a message in the comments. 
> 
> As always, thank you for the hits, the kudos, and the comments. ☺️ You all are too kind. 
> 
> Next chapter for sure Tuesday!


	12. The Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was exhilarating and beautiful. Friends gathering and swapping fond memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom we are at the climax of this book! Fair warning, I didn’t proof read this chapter for spelling and grammar mistakes because it’s really late and I’m determined to get this posted on time. (I’ll fix it later tomorrow)

Tommy sprung out of bed with excitement. “Why did you let me sleep so long!?”

Ghostbur shrugged. “You needed the sleep. Get dressed we are going to eat breakfast then leave for the festival.”

Tommy gave him a nod and went over to his chest and fetched a fresh red and white shirt that Phil and Techno had seen for him. He put on khaki cargo pants and tied his green bandanna around his throat. Slipping the compass into one of the many pants pockets, Tommy flashed a smile at the mirror.

Downstairs he was greeted with eggs and toast, warm smiles all around the table to see the boy. The family was glowing seeing Tommy look more like himself again. 

“Eat up. I know the festival is going to have food but, nether travel isn’t pleasant on an empty stomach.” Phil waved his fork in a stern motion before digging it into his scrambled eggs. 

“Alright.” Techno cleared away the plates and began grabbing his gear. “Tommy are you going to wear the armor I made you to the festival?” 

Tommy looked at the piglin and paused. What if Dream shows up? He’ll need protection right? No. His whole family and the people of L’manberg are there. 

“No thanks Techno, I got my big man muscles to protect me,” he flexed.

“As if your noodle arms could hurt even a fly.” Techno joked.

“Oh fuck off.” Tommy laughed along. 

The family made it out the cabin to the portal, Tommy practically bouncing with excitement. “I’m almost there Tubbo!” 

—

The nether trip was unpleasant. Three ghasts tried to blast them on their trek to the hub. They approached the glowing purple portal that was so familiar. Tommy was almost hesitant to go through. What what would Dream think if he knew he was in the nether? What would he do if he knew he had returned to L’manberg?

The family waited for Tommy to make the first move. He took one step into the portal, two, then vanished. The family was quick to follow behind.

—

The world spun and there it was, the black stone archway, the signature red brick of the community house. It was all there, just how he remembered. 

They were walking the prime path. Tommy’s eyes darted everywhere with curiosity and wonder at all the new builds along the way. The old buildings he had always seen day in day out, Church Prime, Eret’s Tower, his house!

They were at the stairway down to enter L’manberg when Tubbo came rushing up. 

“Tommy!” 

“Tubbo!”

The two embraced in the tightest hug, nearly falling over. The boys were laughing and trying to hold back tears of joy. 

“I missed you so much. There wasn’t a day in exile where I didn’t stop thinking about you.” Tommy spoke into Tubbo’s hair.

“I would stare at my compass and look how it spun towards you everyday. I never took it off me except for when it accidentally got exploded by a creeper. But I got Wilbur to make me a new one.” Tubbo rambled.

The boys let go of each other and looked each other up and down. “Have you gotten shorter or am I just an even bigger man than before?” Tommy jested.

Tubbo laughed. “How about we join the festivities. Everyone is waiting. I’ve been setting things up all night.” He explained.

Walking down the path Tommy was hit with the sight of L’manberg, the houses on stilts covered in colorful streamers, the familiar Chinese lanterns floating just above the lake filled craters, the drug van, Wilbur’s crane. Tommy teared up. “I think I’m getting dirt in my eyes Tubbo.” 

“Whatever you say big man.” Tubbo smiled and led Tommy to the capital square where everyone was mingling about. “Attention citizens of L’manberg. I hereby announce that the exile of my former Vice President , Tommyinnit, over. Let the festival begin! “

Eyes fell upon Tommy, some with pity, others with friendly smiles, others distrustful. Tommy gave a shy wave and tried to stay stuck to Tubbo as he went around saying hi to everyone. 

“Tommy! I’m glad you’re back. I made carrot cake!” Niki greeted him. Her hair was pink. That was new. 

“Oh. Thanks Niki. I’m glad to be back.”

“Tommy come try out this game Tubbo and I invented.” Ranboo called from a colorful carnival stand set up on the grass near the stilts. Tommy made his way over to the hybrid and watched carefully as he demonstrated. “So you’re going to shoot this arrow through this series of obstacles and if you hit the target at the end, you get and emerald from the prize chest.” 

“Seems easy enough.” Tommy drew back the bow string and let his arrow fly *Thunk* impacting with a tree next to the game. 

“Try again?” Ranboo offered.

“Maybe later Ranboo, I’m going to explore the festival some more before I come back around.” 

“See you!” He waved going to fetch the arrow from the tree.

—

Going from booth to booth playing games and eating food was exhilarating. The sky grew dark and Tubbo found his way back to Tommy. 

“It’s getting close to sunset, bench time?” 

“Bench time,” Tommy nodded. 

The two left the festivities and made their way back up the hill to the bench. The jukebox sat beside the birch seats itching to be played. 

“Cat or Mellohi?” Tubbo asked opening his ender chest. 

“Cat,” Tommy answered taking a seat on the bench and scooting over to make room for Tubbo. He sat right next to him despite all the room made.

The sky went the a lovely orange glow, the golden sun disappearing into the horizon line leaving the sky a navy blue speckled with stars. The boys watched on, the disc playing softly in the jukebox. 

“I missed this view.” Tommy whispered.

“I missed seeing it with you.” Tubbo responds. The president bristles up, “I just remembered I have a gift for you. I left it back at the capital building. Do you want to come with me to go get it? I promise it will be just a quick second and then we can come back to the bench and eat some of the cake Niki made.”

“No, that’s fine. You go run and get it. I just want to take in the view right now. “ Tommy gave him a genuine smile, leaning back into the bench.

“See you in a minute then!” Tubbo chirped before scurrying off down the path. 

Tommy gazed up at the canopy of stars twinkling. They were never this beautiful at Techno’s house. 

**_“I didn’t think he’d ever leave.”_ **

****

“Dream.” Tommy whispered. His blood had gone cold.

“Hello Tommy. You really thought you could hide from me? With Techno of all people? I’m disappointed.”

“I- I wasn’t hiding. I’m free from exile now! Tubbo declared it!” Tommy stuttered.

“You think I care about Tubbo’s silly speech. I own you. From this point forward t _here is no more hiding Tommy. There will be no more visitors, no more interfering with my plans, no more attempts on your life. Just you Tommy. Far away from causing trouble, being docile and kind like a loving brother._

_**You wouldn’t want to upset me, would you little brother?** _

_The way I see it, you’re a danger to yourself and others, but I can change that. If only you had stayed. I’m only trying to help you Tommy. **Don’t you trust big brother Dream?”**_

_Hands grip his shoulders from behind._

Tommy’s body freezes up. His eyes look over his shoulder where the smiling mask looms above his shoulders. “Go away. You don’t want to make Techno mad.” 

“He would what Tommy, save you? Everyone is busy down at your little party.” Dreams chuckle tickled his neck.

Tommy tried to move from Dreams embrace but Dream only circled his arms around Tommy in a sickening hug. Tommy gasped about to scream out for help when a gloved hand slapped over his mouth. 

“While I do enjoy our chats little brother, I think it’s time we get you safe back home.” 

Dream seized Tommy’s thin form nestling his face into the smiley face of his hoodie, and carried him to put into the night. Tommy tried to call out for help or squirm out his captors arms, but he felt oh so tired.

“A new day is coming Tommy. Let chaos reign.”

—

It has been said that every 40 seconds a child goes missing. 

It can be so mundane, so quiet and quick that it can happen right below your nose.

A family could be telling stories, friends catching up, plotting revenge on an omnipresent god with no reason to worry.. that is until a president returns to an empty bench with a gift box in hand.

“Tommy?”

The box clatters to the floor.

A lot can happen in 40 seconds.

Who’s watching little brother?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I tried foreshadowing that things were no good. Hope this wasn’t too devastating especially for those who are caught up with Tommy’s last stream. 
> 
> Thanks for the hits, kudos, and comments! I wouldn’t be here without all of your lovely words and encouragement so thank you thank you thank you! ☺️❤️


	13. I’ll Play God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philosophy and memories float through the trapped boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late! I stayed up late last night playing jackbox with friends. I hope you all enjoy this dialogue heavy chapter. I’m shooting for Tuesday or Wednesday for the next chapter.

“Tommy? Tommy!” Tubbo called out into the night. The blonde was nowhere to be seen. He vanished into the night or so it would seem. 

Tubbo fished his communicator from his coat and checked the updates. No death messages. A temporary relief. “Where did you go Tommy?” Tubbo muttered to himself running back to the festival to tell the others.

-

“Wakey. Wakey, little brother.”

The blond’s eyes peeled open adjusting to the dim lighting. He blinked away the weariness that held him still. Limbs refusing motion.

“Where am I? Tubbo?”

He tried to stand, his body lurched back against the hard surface he was laying on. A pain in his midsection. Thick heavy chains held him tight to a oak table. 

“Not Tubbo, even better.”

“Dream.”

“Ding. Ding. Ding. So there is a brain up in that head still? I was starting to think it ran away after it’s body disobeyed and hid from me.” 

The clay white mask with its ominous grin so close to Tommy’s face. He felt his hot breath against his cheeks. Tommy tried to squirm away but the chains held him tight. 

“It was very naughty to run away little brother. You are lucky big brother is so forgiving and kind to you.” 

“You’re not my brother you twat. Get me out. You are a fucking manipulator and I’m not afraid of you anymore!”

“Oh? Is that so? Then why are you shaking Tommy?”

It was true. There was a noticeable tremor in the boy’s hands and his arms had chills everywhere. His faded blue eyes held a cautious panic in them. The room felt suffocatingly hot. Tommy mulled over his options before deciding to play his little game, “Alright. What do you want Dream? You dragged me out to prime knows where. Why? This isn’t about the discs.”

“Very observant. This isn’t about the discs Tommy.”

“Yeah we got that part. So what do you want then?” Tommy was trying to calm his heart from beating out his chest. Think about Tubbo. Think about the bench.

“What do I want? It’s simple. It has been from day one. I want the power of this land. I decided to be lenient with Wilbur and your little drug escapade but, then you wanted land. You wanted titles. You formed a cutesy cookie cutter government. I couldn’t have that. So we fought. You know that part very well. The young boy in armor that didn’t quite fight him yet. Just a child fighting for sentimental attachments. 

I told Eret I’d give him power and a title if he would take down your little government. Then he did. That wasn’t enough to stop you. We dueled. You were just a child. Wilbur really sent a child into a gunfight. 

Two lives down, and here we are today. I could kill you right now Tommy. I could wrap my hands around your neck and squeeze, life pulsing, fingers scrambling for the neck to fight back, breathless protests, your eyes glazing over. It could be over so quickly yet I insist on keeping you around. Do you want to know why Tommy?”

His heart was palpitating. “Why Dream?” Why keep him here? What was the purpose for keeping him from jumping in lava? He had every opportunity.

“Because you are entertaining Tommy. I can twiddle away at anyone of my little puppet strings and if I say dance. Then they will dance. I say kill and they obey. You Tommy, you fight me at every turn. I can’t tie you down. Well I can, because look at you.” Dream laughed, “but where’s the fun in that?”

“People aren’t puppets Dream. That’s so fucked up. No ones going to play your stupid little mind games.” Tommy felt violated. The idea that he was only still breathing because Dream got some sick pleasure out of it was revolting. He felt ill. 

“Hmm. Not a fan of puppet shows. Well let’s put it a different way,” Dream taps his mask thinking. He straightens with a flourish “I’ve got it! Chess. We are a game of chess, don’t you see it Tommy?

I am king. I rule my board and keep my queen safe. I’m protected by my fierce nights and bishops, and when they fail me I pull pawns into the mix. I’ve taken so much from your side. I took your bishop Wilbur corrupting his mind. I took both of your rooks, both L’manberg and Pogtopia, your knights Quackity, Fundy, Ranboo. What do I have left to take from you Tommy? Just pawns. You know the pawn piece represents a serf. Serfs in olden times worked hard and died young. They were often left unprotected while wars raged around them. They could be traded, used as a diversion, or even sacrificed to allow the landowners to escape harm. Just like you Tommy. I have checkmate just around the corner and yet you still fight me, fight for a nation that abandoned you, sacrificed you to save its own skin.”

“You want power? You’ve got it all. What’s the point anymore Dream? When a man holds the world in his palm, what’s there to lose?” Tommy whispered.

“What could I possibly lose Tommy? I own the entire land. I am a god amongst men!”

“But isn’t it true that even gods can get lonely?” Tommy piped

“Lonely? Tommy everyone is under by control; I pull the strings here!”

“You can have someone but, you can’t make them love you Dream. George, Sapnap, Bad, would they still see you as friend after all the horrible things you’ve done to keep your ‘power’? What will you do if your ‘queen’ walks away Dream?” Tommy refrained from childish insults and swearing. If Dream was going to only listen to the ‘adults’ then he would speak their language. Use reason and hit him where it hurt.

The masked man had gone silent. His fists clenched deathly tight and ready to swing, he refrained. “The nether. We are in the nether Tommy.”

_Just like that, he left._

Tommy struggled against the chains. The suffocating heat seemed much more recognizable now. His lips were drying out and cracking, the perspiration on his brow; he was dehydrating quickly. 

“Dream! Come back!” He shouted, his voice cracking in the heat. He had maybe six hours before the heat would bake him like a raisin. He had learned that from Techno when he taught him how to mine for netherite. 

—

_“You are going to mine forward on this plane with beds. You have to stay away from the blast radius and stay clear of falling lava. Got that Tommy?”_

_“Yes Techno. Now let’s make some explosions!” The young boy cried, running ahead._

_Boom! Boom! Boom!_

_“Tommy slow down! It’s very hot in the nether you don’t want to overwork yourself and get dehydrated.”_

_“Relax big man! I’ve got this!” The piglin heard shouted down the tunnel, followed by three more explosions. Techno began a tunnel next to Tommy’s and went to work, the sound of his explosions merging with Tommy’s._

_Once he had gathered enough netherite for a new set of armor he paused his work. There were no new explosions in the distance._

_“Tommy I think it’s time we head back!” He called. Making his way into Tommy’s tunnel._

_“Tommy it’s time to head home!” He jogged a little faster down the line not hearing a response._

_“Tommy quit messing around we’re going home!” Techno shouted._

_He had reached the end of the tunnel. There laying limp over a pile of netherite was the sweaty unconscious body of his brother._

_“ **TOMMY!** ” Techno raced over and felt the boy’s pulse. Still beating strong. His face flush and covered in netherack dust. _

_Techno dug through his inventory for a bottle of water. He held the boy upright and poured the water down his throat. His skin was burning up. “Come on. Come on.”_

_Pale blue eyes fluttered open. “Techno?”_

_Techno held the boy close to his chest before scooping him up and heading to the portal._

_“But Tech- the netherite.” Tommy moaned seeing his stash be left behind._

_“I’ll get it later. You need to cool down. Gods Tommy, I told you to take things easy. You’re not built for the nether.” Techno grumbled heading through the portal._

_“I’m sorry big man.” Tommy whispered sincerely; he knew his brother was shaken up._

_“It’s alright Tommy, just remember for next time, okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

—

So he laid stuck in the bundle of chains feeling the smoldering heat leaching away his strength. 

“Techno. I need help.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the hits, kudos, and comments. You are far too kind. ❤️


	14. DNF Pog?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nation plans a slaughter.  
> A totally not a couple fights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This did not go where I thought it would when I started writing it. Honestly I wrote this extremely late and wanted some quick dnf angst moments. Hope you enjoy.

The atmosphere back at L’manberg was thriving. People were chatting and drinking. Ghostbur had found a guitar and started playing. 

In ran Tubbo with arms flailing and tears streaming down his face, “Help! Someone help!” 

“Woah. Woah Tubbo calm down. Take a big deep breath for me.” Puffy instructed catching the sobbing boy.

“He’s- he’s- Tommy-I-He’s-“

“Shhhh. Tubbo deep breaths.” Sam encouraged.

Tubbo tried to math their pace while Puffy held him whispering words of comfort. As soon as he was coherent enough Tubbo began to shout. “He’s gone. Tommy’s gone. He has to have been taken. He said he’d wait for me.” Tubbo was blotchy and red.

The crowd parted and the Sleepy Bois made their way to Tubbo. “What do you mean taken Tubbo?” Phil inquired in a cold tone.

“I was at the bench with Tommy and I told him to wait while I grabbed him a present from my house. I come back and he’s no where to be seen.” Tubbo responded.

“You left him alone and unsupervised?” Techno’s voice was chilling. He felt the voices begin to wake up.

“I asked him to come with me but, he wanted to stay at the bench. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left him.” Tubbo’s eyes began to water once more. 

Puffy tucked the boy into her hip and hid him from Techno. “It’s not his fault. He’s just a child!” 

“If he didn’t abandon Tommy then maybe he’d still be here!” Techno challenged, getting up close in Puffy’s face. 

“Calm down let’s think rationally here.” The creeper hybrid tried stepping between the two.

“Shut it Sam. If Tommy’s gone then that means Dream has him. He’s back in the arms of his abuser. I need to go find him now.” Techno backed off and went to leave the gathering. 

“Techno wait!” Niki called, her voice breaking over the murmurs of the crowd.

“What Niki? I need to get going if I’m going to track the green homeless man.” He rolled his eyes.

“We all go.” Niki stated. Pulling out a rusty sword from her inventory.

“I don’t think you get this Niki but, he works alone.” Phil butted in.

“If we all work together then there’s no way we could lose to Dream. He’d be too outnumbered.” Eret interjected.

“We work together for Tommy.” Fundy added.

“For Tommy.” The L’manbergians echoed.

“Techno what do the voices say?” Phil asked casually, smirk growing on his face.

“They want blood.” Evil cackles escaped the pig.

The L’manbergians cheered and scattered to find weapons. 

Tubbo shouted orders. Techno organized attacks. Niki supplies rations. 

—

Away on the top of the grassy hillside the boy in blue, Georgenotfound, gazed down at the L’manbergians. 

“Hello George.”

“Dream.” George spat, the name lien poison in his mouth. 

“Aw Georgie. What’s the matter?” Dream came to stand next to him.

“You took him didn’t you?” He spoke softly, his eyes stayed locked on the people down the hill. 

“Becker son is fine George. I can always give him back if you’re mad at me.” Dream played oblivious.

“Cut the bullshit Dream. You know I’m not talking about the fish.” George huffed. He wrapped his thin arms around himself from the chill.

“Ok I took Tommy. Aren’t you happy George? No more battles, no more looting, no more annoying child.” Dream seemed thrilled. He painted it as a utopia.

“No more battles you stared, no more looting from Tommy or everyone entirely because that happens on a weekly basis, or no more challenges? Which is it Dream?” George turned to glare at the white condescending smile. 

“Oh come on. George.” 

“I don’t want to hear it Dream. Where is Tommy?” George pushed.

“He’s preoccupied.” Dream shrugged.

“Where is he Clay?” 

The masked man stilled. “George?”

“I asked you a question, Clay.” George pressed, his patience wearing thin.

“He’s a liability George. He burned down your house. You worked so hard on it.” Dream tried.

“Like you would know. You were too busy fighting a war against children stop by. You never have time for me anymore. Or Sapnap! You only think of yourself Clay and that’s not right. You need to turn yourself in.” George snapped. 

“Oh come on.” The boy in blue turned away from him. Looking down the hill. Dream tried to catch his eyes but, the boy turned away. “George.” 

“You don’t make me a good person, Clay.” George whispered walking down the hillside.

Green eyes widened beneath the mask. The boy went chasing down the hill. “George you don’t mean it.”

“I do though.” The blue boy sniffled

“I’d do anything for you George. Please. “

“Then stop fighting. Stop causing conflict because people don’t agree with you. Stop manipulating children for your own amusement. Do this for me Dream. Please.” George confided.

“I can’t.” 

“Then this is goodbye-“

“The nether.” 

“What?”

“He’s in the nether.” Dream stated. He pearled away into the night.

“Run fast speed runner. I can’t image what they’ll do when they catch you.” George whistled a tune returning to the festival. 

  
—

**_“We head into the nether.”_** The brunet declared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I stay up late writing this I have school at 7:40 in the morning 🤢
> 
> As always thank you all for the hits, kudos, and comments. You are all far too kind. 
> 
> -Love Izzy. I’m going to bed now

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so you actually read this? Wild. If even one person comments part 2, then I’ll make another chapter from Will or rather Ghostbur’s perspective of the events or stumbling upon the book. I don’t know maybe add more sleepy bois perspectives if people want more.


End file.
